Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (1964)

Christmas comes incredibly early this year. I open up this freshly gift-wrapped turd and was confronted with mind-numbing stupidity. After watching this tripe, I had to take a nap, and I cried myself to sleep. I’m not sure, but I think this film has given me permanent brain damage. I still see them when I close my eyes. Green leotards. Brown face paint. Illogical head apparatuses. But all of that pales in comparison to that unearthly laughter. Santa has come to town, and he’s kind of scary. Continue reading “Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (1964)”


Killers from Space (1954)

I’ll be brief. I don’t have much to say about this one. It’s a snore. The only aspect of this film I am likely to remember is the titular Killers from Space, with their big bulging eyes, bushy eyebrows, and full body leotards. One has to wonder how the people in charge of designing the aliens thought they looked at all intimidating. Continue reading “Killers from Space (1954)”

The Crater Lake Monster (1977)

In 1977, a film came out that was the pinnacle of special effects technology, and it redefined what a film could be. That film. . . was Star Wars. Today I am reviewing this garbage, The Crater Lake Monster. I’ll give it one thing: with the subject matter and score, it emulates a 1950’s B-movie far better than The Giant Spider or Demon with the Atomic Brain, albeit mostly accidentally.  Continue reading “The Crater Lake Monster (1977)”

Three Billboards Outside Oscar Buzz

Three Billboards 1

After taking home 4 major Golden Globe awards, there is no doubt Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri has solidified its status as an Oscar favorite. Much like my review of The Post, I found this film to be anything but perfect.

Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri is a complex character drama starring Frances McDormand, Sam Rockwell, and Woody Harrelson…among others. McDormand plays Mildred, the mother of a daughter who was raped, burned, and murdered. The case has yet to be solved. This leads her to pay for three billboards which serve to antagonize the local police into putting more effort into the case. Continue reading “Three Billboards Outside Oscar Buzz”

First Impressions – Godzilla: Planet of the Monsters

As a tremendous fan of the Godzilla franchise, I eagerly awaited the 32nd installment in the series. A Godzilla anime? Would that work? I had to know. I’ve just now had a chance to view Godzilla: Planet of the Monsters on Netflix, and I have thoughts. Expect a full review soon, but I just wanted to jot down some of my first impressions, until I’ve had time to marinate on this film. Continue reading “First Impressions – Godzilla: Planet of the Monsters”

Demon with the Atomic Brain (2017)

After my last review, I was curious enough to check out another film by Christopher Mihm, the director of The Giant Spider. Being that this film was more recent, I expected the craft of Mihm and all those involved to have been more honed and thus making for a more entertaining watch. What I got was a movie by a crew that has made several of these at this point, and now they are simply going through the motions. You could tell that there was fun being had when they were filming The GiantSpider. Demon with the Atomic Brain is devoid of any such fun.


Continue reading “Demon with the Atomic Brain (2017)”

The Giant Spider (2013)

The Giant Spider is a film that was released in 2013 but was an homage to 1950’s B-movies. Part of me wants to give it a pass for the sentiment, but unfortunately, it’s not a very good homage. The filmmakers try too hard be authentic, yet don’t succeed in that goal. It’s too self-referential. Too much winking at the camera, like, “Hey, this is what social interaction and gender politics were like in the 50’s.” It’s overcooked and overdone. However, there’s a lot about this movie to admire. It’s not a terrible little film, but I wouldn’t call it good.   Continue reading “The Giant Spider (2013)”

The Post

As of writing this, The Post has already been nominated for and received multiple awards. The critical acclaim cannot be denied. However, the film is not without flaws.

The Post is a historical drama directed by Steven Spielberg primarily about The Washington Post’s role in informing the American people about the Pentagon Papers. The Pentagon Papers were a series of government studies analyzing the effectiveness and justification of military action in Vietnam. The film centers around The Washington Post’s legal and moral conflict over deciding whether or not to publish this information from classified documents. It also examines how these events were taking place at the same time that the Post was becoming a publicly traded company. Continue reading “The Post”

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